All Tuckered Out

Too much running through the snow I guess.

Jersey loves the snow!

Unfortunately, he likes the snow so much that he won't come back in the house. And he has the habit of walking around bushes and trees and getting his leash tangled, so even if he wanted to come in, he couldn't. So, we have to get bundled up and trudge outside through cold yellow snow to retrieve him. But then he just wants to snuggle, so it's worth it!

Budding Artist

These are some portraits Kira drew over Thanksgiving. Can you identify who is who? (The drawings are not to scale, and there is someone missing.)








If you are having trouble seeing details, just click on each picture to zoom in.

A good Christmas idea for Kira would be a nice sketch pad and drawing pencils. The blue lines from her notebook paper do detract from her work.

The Blog Black Hole

I am writing this from Pennsylvania, otherwise referred to as The Blog Black Hole by my sister. Apparently, with my siblings congregated at my brother's house in PA, none of us has found the time to post new material to our blogs. Somehow, this is considered unacceptable, irregardless of the fact that we are actually interacting face-to-face and creating special holiday memories.

Some highlights of our visit out here (day 2 of 5):

Driving out of Michigan took longer than driving through Ohio; great time for family conversation in the car, but seriously????

Staying up way too late to watch way too cheesy movies, and then debating the cinematic qualities of "Walking Tall", "Hairspray", and "Transformers."

Watching 13 month old Audrey take her first steps! Pretty cool!

Retelling our family history, trying to make sense out of the fact that we all get more like our dad every year. Why? (Dad, you're pretty cool and smart most of the time, but it's your quirks we are noticing in ourselves. Again, why?)

So, this post is dedicated to my sister Kathleen, who I am currently ignoring in the other room because I am in here posting.

Happy Thanksgiving!

What God can do in three months...

I'm trying to write a profound post here about how faithful God is, and how He moves in incredible ways we can't even begin to imagine. But all I can think right now is "Woo-hoo!"

We have been attending Lowell Church of the Nazarene for about five months now, and the Board this week approved hiring me as the new Children's Pastor. That's less time than it took for First Church to offer me the position after I applied. Considering that the current Director was slated to be in her position for another two years, the timing of all of this is incredible!

Several weeks ago, Stephen and I were talking about how much we love the kids at our church already. Although we attended Kentwood Community for 11 months, and volunteered in children's ministry for 9 of those, we never felt a connection to the kids. After teaching for two weeks here, we were hooked. So, I can't wait to dig in and do everything I can to help these kids (and more) come to love God, and seek Him everyday.

In the meantime, I will have fun writing introduction letters, designing a ministry brochure, and dreaming of what God will do next!

5 Best Things About Having the Flu

5. Finally get a chance to memorize Comcast's channel line-up and daily schedule.

4. Quality time with Jersey, who can't catch anything from me.

3. Fitting into skinny jeans again.

2. Opportunities to earn a lot of WebKinz cash.

1. Don't have to make the bed!

"Prayer Snares"

This is an article from Christianity Today. It seems like I was having a conversation about prayer with Kath recently that bemoaned several of these same approaches to prayer.

Prayer Snares

Though the exercise of prayer offers comfort for the moment, many prayer requests treat God like a genie in a bottle. Here are some prayer requests that reflect our human desires more than the desires of God. Do these sound familiar?
The Trivial Prayer
"I pray I can get over this cold," or "Give us a rain-free day for the church picnic."
Our comfort and our plans are important to us, but could God have something larger in mind? Might the farmers around us desperately need the rain? Our requests need to reflect things we truly expect God to do, not just our hopes and whims. We don't want our requests to trivialize the awesome gift of prayer.
The Self-Motivated Prayer
"My brother's unit just got called up to go to Iraq. Let's pray he won't have to go."
Though we can understand the emotion behind the request, it is still misplaced. If he's in the military, why shouldn't he go? God's purposes frequently include hardship and risk. Should we ask him to trump his purposes for our convenience?
The Controlling Prayer
We're spitting into the wind if we ask God to make other people act according to our will. He doesn't force people to adhere to his will. Why should he make them act according to ours?
The Manipulative Prayer
We're usually more diplomatic than four-year-old Charissa, who knew what she wanted: "Jesus, would you help Bob and Laurie learn how to spank their children, so their kids won't hit me when I visit them?" It worked for Charissa, but I don't think prayer is supposed to send subtle (or not so subtle) messages to the faithful.
The Blaming Prayer
One group was praying for an infertile woman. Some thought she wasn't getting pregnant because her husband wouldn't be a good father, so they asked God to change him. The wife tried to manipulate the husband to change, and before long, she was incredibly frustrated. The group had missed the point. None of us qualify for God's gifts. If God waited until everyone was ready to have a baby, no one would ever give birth.
The Mass-Produced Prayer
Why do we think prayers are more likely to get answered if more people are in on it? God's answers to prayer are not based on a tally sheet. Prayer was designed for two or three faithful believers, not large numbers of uninvolved people.

What I have found frustrating is that these types of prayers are the meat of church and small group prayers. We have been in small groups, Bible studies, Sunday School classes, and even prayer groups in which every prayer is like one of the above. In our current small group, we meet with four other spiritually mature Christians. Our prayer time is starting to show some signs of life, but still has many vestiges of "church-y" prayer requests. Yes, I would like to be over my flu, but do I also want to become more compassionate? I would like Stephen to have safe travel when he's gone for business, but do I also want him to protect his integrity in the workplace? Why are certain spiritual needs off-limits among praying Christians? Obviously, I don't recommend listing our deepest needs in the church bulletin to be passed around the prayer chain. But at what point do we protect our privacy at the expense of our spiritual growth?

So, pray for me as I learn how to be more open and transparent in seeking prayer support for those things that really matter.

Kira/Katara

Even though we don't get into Halloween, Kira did not want to feel left out at the parade and party at school. So, with some help from Kath, Kira went as Katara from Avatar. She even woke up early to give me time to do her hair!

Safe At Home

We are all back safe and sound.

Stephen landed in GR at 6:10 Friday evening after a week in Wisconsin, so Kira and I picked him up and we drove up to Traverse City. After arriving later than we wanted to (due to construction, rain, and poor navigational tips from the back seat), we settled into our room at the Great Wolf Lodge just as everything was shutting down. Which was fine, because we were all so tired.

Saturday morning, we all woke up around 7, and got ready to start a fun-filled day. We played in the water park, watched a movie, ordered pizza, played in the water some more, ate at La Senorita (yum!!!) and played at the arcade. Then, it was time for bed again. Sunday, we spent more time in the water park, then hit the arcade one more time. We blew a lot of money, and won a lot of tickets. Fortunately, I hit the jackpot with one of my last tokens, and we cleared enough for Kira to walk away with a new Razor kick scooter. Yea!! She was so excited this morning to ride it to school!

So, that was our exciting weekend!

"What Does Love Mean?"

This is a sappy Internet forward from my mom.

What does Love mean? A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?” The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca-age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6 "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy -age 8
"My mommy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare -age 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris age 7
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8

"Love is when Kath actually touches dog food to feed Jersey so we can be at the hospital with Kira.
Love is when Paul and Jo Anne Blann drive 4 hours and pay for parking just to see their granddaughter.
Love is Mom praying with me on the phone while we were waiting for an ambulance.
Love is Dad promising to answer his cell phone if we need to call during church with a Kira update.
Love is Stephen cancelling his flight for a business trip so he can stay with Kira overnight at the hospital." Beccy

Thank you all for being love today and always!

When No is the Right Answer

Just yesterday, I was posting about feeling bad about not making myself available to a church and family member in need. Now I know why saying "no" was the right decision.

Most of you know this already, but we had to rush Kira to the ER this morning when she woke up with difficulty breathing. I still don't know all the details, because Stephen carried her in while I quickly parked. During the 90 seconds I was apart from her, six doctors, nurses, and techs came and hooked her up to oxygen and monitors. When I walked in the room, her blood oxygen level was only in the 70's.

She arrived at 6:50 am and had already received a steroid treatment by 7:15, so they worked fast on her. Since the steroid works over 24 hours, we have been in wait-and-see mode all day. They did check her oxygen levels after 3 hours and determined her stats were improving, but not as well as they would have liked to see. So, an ambulance took her to the Children's Hospital downtown where they could respond more quickly if the treatment failed. She has been doing great all afternoon, but will need to stay until the 24 hours have passed to make sure the steroids got her through the worst of it. I just got home at 9:00 pm. Stephen is able to stay with her tonight, and I will head back at 6:00 tomorrow morning to be there when she wakes up.

A big "thank you!" to everyone who has been praying for Kira and us today! Sorry if this post is incoherent, but I hope you understand.

Just Say No?

One of the things I like about myself is that I have the ability to say, "No." Most people I know struggle with setting personal limits and feel overwhelmed by all their commitments. Fortunately, I learned a very long time ago how to say "no" to certain things so that I am free to say "yes" to other opportunities. And I don't feel guilty about it, although sometimes I do feel guilty that I don't feel guilty...

This week, I had to say "no" to someone special to me about something I find really important. I received a call Tuesday night from my aunt in Kalamazoo. She was in a panic because the children's pastor at her church abruptly resigned and cleaned out her office. Knowing my education, experience, and calling, she called wondering if I would be available short-term to guide the church through the transition. And although I know that there is no way I could have made it work, I feel awful about it.

End of post. Read next.

October Musings

Anyone who has ever been shopping with me knows that I like to try on hats, but I've never bought one. I always talk myself out of it because I don't wear hats. But I'm thinking I don't wear hats because I've never bought one. So, I'm thinking maybe it's time to start actually wearing hats, because, let's face it, I look really cute in them. Especially when they are green leather and found at the Coach outlet store.

Speaking of outlet stores, I visited the Oneida store, and learned that our silverware pattern is discontinued! Very sad. Now I will never get my iced tea spoons, casserole spoon, or additional steak knives. Just think of how few glasses of chocolate milk I'll be able to make because I don't have my iced tea spoons. Although, I did learn that Replacements.com has some of the Rushmore pattern items in stock. Has anyone ever ordered from there to be happy with their service?

Almost every day, after walking Kira to school, I keep walking around our neighborhood for another 40 minutes to get some exercise. It has really helped my energy level and motivation. But today, as I was walking in the very brisk air, I wondered how I will keep that up during the winter. Then I remembered that a Wii version of DDR is due to be released some time this month, which has me very excited! I can exercise indoors doing something really fun!

I'm also getting very excited about heading up to Traverse City in two weeks! Stephen will be in Wisconsin the week of his birthday, so we are doing a weekend trip when he gets back to celebrate his birthday, our anniversary, and my birthday. Kira's looking forward to the water park, Stephen's looking forward to the arcade, and I'm looking forward to eating at La Senorita, Red Lobster, and Panorama Pizza. And Jersey is looking forward to staying at PetSmart's PetsHotel, where he'll get to play with other dogs and get treats. And Kath is looking forward to not being on Jersey duty. I think it will be a fun weekend!

Is There an Annie Phillips in Our Family?

Stephen laughs at me for it, but part of my daily routine is to check the weather and read Dear Abby. I don't know why I read it, unless it's to get a glimpse of just how screwed up people are. Other times, like a few weeks ago, it really gives me a good laugh.

Several weeks ago, a letter was printed from a woman complaining of being addressed as "ma'am", a term she believes is derogatory because she thinks it's a derivative of "mammy," and another way of keeping women in their place. I about fell out of my chair laughing when I read this. Today's column included letters from other readers who pointed out the true origin of the term (short for madame, French for my lady) and the cultural significance it still carries today.

The last letter was from Annie Phillips, but I am convinced that her name is an alias for Kathleen Herford. Her response? "A word of advice to [the woman] who thought she knew what "ma'am" meant. A dictionary is a fine tool to consult before putting your opinions in writing for the world to see. On the other hand, failing to do so certainly makes for amusing reading." So, Kath, are you going to 'fess up?

Training Kira Right

Yesterday, I again had the opportunity to visit the beach on a gorgeous fall day. Kira and I drove down to St. Joseph after school to visit Mom/Grandma Shirley at a rented cottage. As we went along M-63, we could see Lake Michigan periodically through the trees and really nice beach houses. Kira was very excited, and asked why we don't live there on the beach.

When we arrived at the cottage, Kira was eager to get down to the water and walk along the beach. Shoes and socks came off, and shorts got a little wet. When she heard Grandma had a dryer available, she wanted me to push her all the way in the water. She had a great time splashing at water's edge, writing in the sand with a feather, and watching the sea gulls. Except that we left to go eat at Chili's, Kira was very saddened to say good-bye to the beach.

That's my girl!

Flying Into Daybreak

A few months ago, I did the unthinkable. I bought a full-price CD for one song. Yes, I know I could purchase the track on I-Tunes, but then it's on this computer and I'd have to go through the hassle of burning it to have in my car or bedroom.



Two years ago, the Spring Arbor chapel worship team led this song, and I loved it! I've heard it on the radio once since then, so I looked it up online.

If you get a chance, check out Charlie Hall's music. Apparently, he's really big in the teen worship department, but I don't know why he doesn't have a wider fan base, because his music is AWESOME!

Beach Bum

I walked Kira to school today and continued walking for about a mile before coming back home. The morning was beautiful! Crisp air, blue skies with a few clouds, and a nice breeze carrying the scent of rain. When I got home, I did some housework, then hopped in the car for a quick trip over to Holland State Park. WOW!! The waves were all over the place, about 4 feet high and rolling along the pier and crashing into the rocks. And the rain had damped down the sand, so I could enjoy the stiff breeze without getting my face sandblasted.

I found a nice out of the way spot on the pier and read through my Bible study. We're studying how to live a balanced life, and how hard to achieve that seems to moms. But, as I sat on the pier at the beach on a perfect fall day, listening to the waves and getting splashed occasionally, I got a taste of what it means. To live and experience God's creation, to know that other commitments could wait, and just BE.

Of course, it couldn't last forever. Maybe that's part of balance, too. Taking time to enjoy those moments that we know can't last forever. Making room in our life for small, fleeting experiences that feed our spirit. Even though I could only stay 25 minutes, it was worth it!

I Feel Like Me Again

Last night, Stephen and I started leading the kids' Wednesday program at church. What a blast! Discipline was an issue, since the crowd (of 8) skewed young and they don't really know us. But, we were warned beforehand that the kids at our church just don't do music. They've never gotten into it, even when they tried more modern stuff. Well, since I've never been with a group of kids that I couldn't get into music, we went ahead and rolled out 3 of our favorites. They were BEGGING to do them again at the end of the lesson! And some of the teens were lamenting they are too old to be in with us.

So, we had a good night getting to know the kids and getting them excited about church and learning the Bible. It's been so long since I've done what I love doing, and it felt great! Stephen even got a spontaneous hug from one of the girls, so it felt like home to him, too.

Age Old Question

Why does JIF make Creamy peanut butter and Extra Crunchy peanut butter? Where is the plain old Crunchy peanut butter? What I would really like to see is Mostly Creamy with Just a Hint of Crunch peanut butter. Now THAT'S peanut butter!

What is "normal" kid behavior?

Last week, Kira spent the evening at a friend's house, watching a movie and hanging out with some kids from school. When I went to pick her up, she hid in a different part of the house. Finally, she came out, said her good-byes, then disappeared again. On the way home, she admitted that she knew hiding from me was naughty, and accepted her punishment. So, even good kids aren't perfect.

But, I read this article today, and it made me question what is wrong with parents today that dismiss naughty behavior as normal. A Kindergarten student in Indiana thought it would be fun to hide from the bus driver, and wouldn't get off the bus. The bus driver carefully checked the bus, didn't see anyone, so he headed off to a different route. When the boy giggled, the driver realized what had happened. School officials re-enacted the incident to determine what really happened, and concluded the bus driver acted appropriately, and suspended the boy from school transportation for two weeks. The mother says that school officials over-reacted, because "He's just a typical 5-year-old boy that just started school."

Excuse me. The start of school is not when children begin to learn discipline. That child should have been taught at home how to respect authority. It is the parents' job to ensure their son knows to listen to teachers, principals, bus drivers, or anyone else in charge of his safety. Yes, good kids still act out (see example of Kira's behavior above), but they know there are consequences.

The good news is that the punishment creates hardship for the parents, not the child. If he truly didn't know any better, as his mother claims, then she is the one at fault. She should have to deal with the consequences, even if it messes with her routine for the next two weeks. Maybe then she will make the time to teach her son responsibility. Or maybe she'll just decide to switch him to a different school that is responsive to the needs of parents. Long live schools of choice.

Having some fun!

Stephen and I have been asked to lead the kids' program on Wednesday nights at our new church. The only conditions that have been placed on us are to coordinate stories and verses with Sunday morning so the kids aren't overloaded. But since they can't afford curriculum, they are trying to piece together lessons from various materials on hand.

So.... I get to write custom curriculum, create the teaching gimmick, AND introduce music to these kids (they're currently not doing any music at all, not even cheesy Sunday School stuff). Yea! I just finished writing the material for the first week, and had so much fun! Now I get to work on getting all the materials and supplies I need, but since that involves painting, that will be fun too! (Can you tell I get excited about stuff like this?)

Hopefully, we get a good response from the kids (and the other teachers), and I'll get to do this even more.

Twins?

I LOVE these two photos! Side by side, Kira and Jersey look like twins (maybe not identical).

One Year Reflections

Yesterday was August 31.

This date is significant to a lot of people who remember it as the anniversary of Princess Di's car crash. It is also my college roommate's birthday.

For me, though, it marked the end of an incredible chapter in my life. A chapter that closed suddenly yet very quietly.

One year ago yesterday, I walked out of my office at First Church of the Nazarene in Jackson for the last time. I said goodbye to no one in person, yet my heart said a thousand good-byes. After eleven years of involvement with this church family, and one as staff, countless numbers of people had made this place my spiritual home. Really, the first place I felt I truly belonged.

Many people who know me only superficially assumed that moving was easy for me because I was moving close to my family. Don't get me wrong... I love my family! I like living 3 miles from my sister and seeing her almost every day, not to mention actually watching her kids grow up. I missed that with my brother's kids (who recently moved away, but at least have cell phones and email!) So yes, having family near is good. But it's not a replacement for a church family.

I grew up in church. I love church. I have been part of some amazing churches growing up. But attending church as an adult is very different. I had to choose how to get involved. There was no pre-defined group for me to belong to anymore. The church was my oyster, I guess you could say. I tried choir, which didn't quite fit for me. I tried women's ministry - worse than choir. Then, Stephen was recruited to teach Kindergarten Sunday School. I came along for the ride, and found my passion.

Thus began a ten year process of education, mentoring, and leadership that resulted in obtaining my District License as Minister of the Gospel, and the position of Children's Pastor. Not every step was easy, nor fun, nor even clear. And I won't let nostalgia color my memories; there were times I hated my church, and felt abandoned by them. But God placed people in that church who encouraged me and loved me and supported me, and yes, even challenged me. Through them, I found my place, and learned to love God's people.

So, as I said good-bye to an empty building, I also said good-bye to hundreds of people who made First Church more than 4 walls. And I had to wonder, am I saying good-bye to part of me? Will I find this again? Will there be another place like this, that loves me, accepts me, encourages me, and supports me? Is my ministry to God's children over?

On my one-year anniversary, those questions still persist. We have found a new church home, and are enjoying becoming part of a new fellowship. But it's not the same. I'm no longer beginning the process of discovering who I am and what I want, so I have higher immediate expectations. I want so much to re-create my First Church experience, but I know that won't happen. I am trying to figure out my new role, and separate who I am in God from who I am in His church. Cognitively, I know they are different, but in Jackson, I found the fullest expression of who I am in Him through ministry to kids, and it was awesome!

I have now been gone from First Church longer than I was on staff. Yesterday reminded me that the most incredible chapter in my life is truly over. I think I'm making progress - I no longer tear up at the sight of Fun Size Twix bars, and I actually talked to my replacement at the church. Maybe I'm ready to fondly remember my experience (and encourage others that such a church can exist!), but look forward to what God is doing in and through me now.