"Prayer Snares"

This is an article from Christianity Today. It seems like I was having a conversation about prayer with Kath recently that bemoaned several of these same approaches to prayer.

Prayer Snares

Though the exercise of prayer offers comfort for the moment, many prayer requests treat God like a genie in a bottle. Here are some prayer requests that reflect our human desires more than the desires of God. Do these sound familiar?
The Trivial Prayer
"I pray I can get over this cold," or "Give us a rain-free day for the church picnic."
Our comfort and our plans are important to us, but could God have something larger in mind? Might the farmers around us desperately need the rain? Our requests need to reflect things we truly expect God to do, not just our hopes and whims. We don't want our requests to trivialize the awesome gift of prayer.
The Self-Motivated Prayer
"My brother's unit just got called up to go to Iraq. Let's pray he won't have to go."
Though we can understand the emotion behind the request, it is still misplaced. If he's in the military, why shouldn't he go? God's purposes frequently include hardship and risk. Should we ask him to trump his purposes for our convenience?
The Controlling Prayer
We're spitting into the wind if we ask God to make other people act according to our will. He doesn't force people to adhere to his will. Why should he make them act according to ours?
The Manipulative Prayer
We're usually more diplomatic than four-year-old Charissa, who knew what she wanted: "Jesus, would you help Bob and Laurie learn how to spank their children, so their kids won't hit me when I visit them?" It worked for Charissa, but I don't think prayer is supposed to send subtle (or not so subtle) messages to the faithful.
The Blaming Prayer
One group was praying for an infertile woman. Some thought she wasn't getting pregnant because her husband wouldn't be a good father, so they asked God to change him. The wife tried to manipulate the husband to change, and before long, she was incredibly frustrated. The group had missed the point. None of us qualify for God's gifts. If God waited until everyone was ready to have a baby, no one would ever give birth.
The Mass-Produced Prayer
Why do we think prayers are more likely to get answered if more people are in on it? God's answers to prayer are not based on a tally sheet. Prayer was designed for two or three faithful believers, not large numbers of uninvolved people.

What I have found frustrating is that these types of prayers are the meat of church and small group prayers. We have been in small groups, Bible studies, Sunday School classes, and even prayer groups in which every prayer is like one of the above. In our current small group, we meet with four other spiritually mature Christians. Our prayer time is starting to show some signs of life, but still has many vestiges of "church-y" prayer requests. Yes, I would like to be over my flu, but do I also want to become more compassionate? I would like Stephen to have safe travel when he's gone for business, but do I also want him to protect his integrity in the workplace? Why are certain spiritual needs off-limits among praying Christians? Obviously, I don't recommend listing our deepest needs in the church bulletin to be passed around the prayer chain. But at what point do we protect our privacy at the expense of our spiritual growth?

So, pray for me as I learn how to be more open and transparent in seeking prayer support for those things that really matter.