Is There an Annie Phillips in Our Family?

Stephen laughs at me for it, but part of my daily routine is to check the weather and read Dear Abby. I don't know why I read it, unless it's to get a glimpse of just how screwed up people are. Other times, like a few weeks ago, it really gives me a good laugh.

Several weeks ago, a letter was printed from a woman complaining of being addressed as "ma'am", a term she believes is derogatory because she thinks it's a derivative of "mammy," and another way of keeping women in their place. I about fell out of my chair laughing when I read this. Today's column included letters from other readers who pointed out the true origin of the term (short for madame, French for my lady) and the cultural significance it still carries today.

The last letter was from Annie Phillips, but I am convinced that her name is an alias for Kathleen Herford. Her response? "A word of advice to [the woman] who thought she knew what "ma'am" meant. A dictionary is a fine tool to consult before putting your opinions in writing for the world to see. On the other hand, failing to do so certainly makes for amusing reading." So, Kath, are you going to 'fess up?

Training Kira Right

Yesterday, I again had the opportunity to visit the beach on a gorgeous fall day. Kira and I drove down to St. Joseph after school to visit Mom/Grandma Shirley at a rented cottage. As we went along M-63, we could see Lake Michigan periodically through the trees and really nice beach houses. Kira was very excited, and asked why we don't live there on the beach.

When we arrived at the cottage, Kira was eager to get down to the water and walk along the beach. Shoes and socks came off, and shorts got a little wet. When she heard Grandma had a dryer available, she wanted me to push her all the way in the water. She had a great time splashing at water's edge, writing in the sand with a feather, and watching the sea gulls. Except that we left to go eat at Chili's, Kira was very saddened to say good-bye to the beach.

That's my girl!

Flying Into Daybreak

A few months ago, I did the unthinkable. I bought a full-price CD for one song. Yes, I know I could purchase the track on I-Tunes, but then it's on this computer and I'd have to go through the hassle of burning it to have in my car or bedroom.



Two years ago, the Spring Arbor chapel worship team led this song, and I loved it! I've heard it on the radio once since then, so I looked it up online.

If you get a chance, check out Charlie Hall's music. Apparently, he's really big in the teen worship department, but I don't know why he doesn't have a wider fan base, because his music is AWESOME!

Beach Bum

I walked Kira to school today and continued walking for about a mile before coming back home. The morning was beautiful! Crisp air, blue skies with a few clouds, and a nice breeze carrying the scent of rain. When I got home, I did some housework, then hopped in the car for a quick trip over to Holland State Park. WOW!! The waves were all over the place, about 4 feet high and rolling along the pier and crashing into the rocks. And the rain had damped down the sand, so I could enjoy the stiff breeze without getting my face sandblasted.

I found a nice out of the way spot on the pier and read through my Bible study. We're studying how to live a balanced life, and how hard to achieve that seems to moms. But, as I sat on the pier at the beach on a perfect fall day, listening to the waves and getting splashed occasionally, I got a taste of what it means. To live and experience God's creation, to know that other commitments could wait, and just BE.

Of course, it couldn't last forever. Maybe that's part of balance, too. Taking time to enjoy those moments that we know can't last forever. Making room in our life for small, fleeting experiences that feed our spirit. Even though I could only stay 25 minutes, it was worth it!

I Feel Like Me Again

Last night, Stephen and I started leading the kids' Wednesday program at church. What a blast! Discipline was an issue, since the crowd (of 8) skewed young and they don't really know us. But, we were warned beforehand that the kids at our church just don't do music. They've never gotten into it, even when they tried more modern stuff. Well, since I've never been with a group of kids that I couldn't get into music, we went ahead and rolled out 3 of our favorites. They were BEGGING to do them again at the end of the lesson! And some of the teens were lamenting they are too old to be in with us.

So, we had a good night getting to know the kids and getting them excited about church and learning the Bible. It's been so long since I've done what I love doing, and it felt great! Stephen even got a spontaneous hug from one of the girls, so it felt like home to him, too.

Age Old Question

Why does JIF make Creamy peanut butter and Extra Crunchy peanut butter? Where is the plain old Crunchy peanut butter? What I would really like to see is Mostly Creamy with Just a Hint of Crunch peanut butter. Now THAT'S peanut butter!

What is "normal" kid behavior?

Last week, Kira spent the evening at a friend's house, watching a movie and hanging out with some kids from school. When I went to pick her up, she hid in a different part of the house. Finally, she came out, said her good-byes, then disappeared again. On the way home, she admitted that she knew hiding from me was naughty, and accepted her punishment. So, even good kids aren't perfect.

But, I read this article today, and it made me question what is wrong with parents today that dismiss naughty behavior as normal. A Kindergarten student in Indiana thought it would be fun to hide from the bus driver, and wouldn't get off the bus. The bus driver carefully checked the bus, didn't see anyone, so he headed off to a different route. When the boy giggled, the driver realized what had happened. School officials re-enacted the incident to determine what really happened, and concluded the bus driver acted appropriately, and suspended the boy from school transportation for two weeks. The mother says that school officials over-reacted, because "He's just a typical 5-year-old boy that just started school."

Excuse me. The start of school is not when children begin to learn discipline. That child should have been taught at home how to respect authority. It is the parents' job to ensure their son knows to listen to teachers, principals, bus drivers, or anyone else in charge of his safety. Yes, good kids still act out (see example of Kira's behavior above), but they know there are consequences.

The good news is that the punishment creates hardship for the parents, not the child. If he truly didn't know any better, as his mother claims, then she is the one at fault. She should have to deal with the consequences, even if it messes with her routine for the next two weeks. Maybe then she will make the time to teach her son responsibility. Or maybe she'll just decide to switch him to a different school that is responsive to the needs of parents. Long live schools of choice.

Having some fun!

Stephen and I have been asked to lead the kids' program on Wednesday nights at our new church. The only conditions that have been placed on us are to coordinate stories and verses with Sunday morning so the kids aren't overloaded. But since they can't afford curriculum, they are trying to piece together lessons from various materials on hand.

So.... I get to write custom curriculum, create the teaching gimmick, AND introduce music to these kids (they're currently not doing any music at all, not even cheesy Sunday School stuff). Yea! I just finished writing the material for the first week, and had so much fun! Now I get to work on getting all the materials and supplies I need, but since that involves painting, that will be fun too! (Can you tell I get excited about stuff like this?)

Hopefully, we get a good response from the kids (and the other teachers), and I'll get to do this even more.

Twins?

I LOVE these two photos! Side by side, Kira and Jersey look like twins (maybe not identical).

One Year Reflections

Yesterday was August 31.

This date is significant to a lot of people who remember it as the anniversary of Princess Di's car crash. It is also my college roommate's birthday.

For me, though, it marked the end of an incredible chapter in my life. A chapter that closed suddenly yet very quietly.

One year ago yesterday, I walked out of my office at First Church of the Nazarene in Jackson for the last time. I said goodbye to no one in person, yet my heart said a thousand good-byes. After eleven years of involvement with this church family, and one as staff, countless numbers of people had made this place my spiritual home. Really, the first place I felt I truly belonged.

Many people who know me only superficially assumed that moving was easy for me because I was moving close to my family. Don't get me wrong... I love my family! I like living 3 miles from my sister and seeing her almost every day, not to mention actually watching her kids grow up. I missed that with my brother's kids (who recently moved away, but at least have cell phones and email!) So yes, having family near is good. But it's not a replacement for a church family.

I grew up in church. I love church. I have been part of some amazing churches growing up. But attending church as an adult is very different. I had to choose how to get involved. There was no pre-defined group for me to belong to anymore. The church was my oyster, I guess you could say. I tried choir, which didn't quite fit for me. I tried women's ministry - worse than choir. Then, Stephen was recruited to teach Kindergarten Sunday School. I came along for the ride, and found my passion.

Thus began a ten year process of education, mentoring, and leadership that resulted in obtaining my District License as Minister of the Gospel, and the position of Children's Pastor. Not every step was easy, nor fun, nor even clear. And I won't let nostalgia color my memories; there were times I hated my church, and felt abandoned by them. But God placed people in that church who encouraged me and loved me and supported me, and yes, even challenged me. Through them, I found my place, and learned to love God's people.

So, as I said good-bye to an empty building, I also said good-bye to hundreds of people who made First Church more than 4 walls. And I had to wonder, am I saying good-bye to part of me? Will I find this again? Will there be another place like this, that loves me, accepts me, encourages me, and supports me? Is my ministry to God's children over?

On my one-year anniversary, those questions still persist. We have found a new church home, and are enjoying becoming part of a new fellowship. But it's not the same. I'm no longer beginning the process of discovering who I am and what I want, so I have higher immediate expectations. I want so much to re-create my First Church experience, but I know that won't happen. I am trying to figure out my new role, and separate who I am in God from who I am in His church. Cognitively, I know they are different, but in Jackson, I found the fullest expression of who I am in Him through ministry to kids, and it was awesome!

I have now been gone from First Church longer than I was on staff. Yesterday reminded me that the most incredible chapter in my life is truly over. I think I'm making progress - I no longer tear up at the sight of Fun Size Twix bars, and I actually talked to my replacement at the church. Maybe I'm ready to fondly remember my experience (and encourage others that such a church can exist!), but look forward to what God is doing in and through me now.